Well, it took longer than I thought . . .

Ok.  It has been about a year since I really wanted to write in this thing.  I have had numerous ups and downs, but never enough motivation to share any of them on this blog.  This past year has really been a private journey of self-realization and, perhaps, finally forgiveness (I'll get into that portion of the journey at another time).

I suppose what has finally motivated me to want to write for this blog again is a re-shaping of my practice.  It started on Thursday evening by going to a class with the High Priest of the Coven that I hang out with.  I am not an official member as I don't believe I'm fully "there" yet.  Then, yesterday was a low day.  My body ached.  I hurt everywhere - internally and externally.  I did not want to move from my bed or the couch.  Now, part of the reason for this is because I've been on an exercise/diet kick.  I think I over did it this past week.  However, the internal hurting came from the class I took on Thursday.  Some very old wounds opened up that I was finally ready to deal with.  This is where the forgiveness part of my re-directed path will eventually come in.  Like I said, I am not there just yet, which is why I do not feel it is appropriate to ask for membership into the Coven.

So, this morning, I began re-reading Silver Ravenwolf's book Hedgewitch - spells, crafts and rituals for natural magick.  I knew I needed to refocus myself.  I needed a kick start if I am really going to make myself happy, healthy, wealthy (not necessarily monetary), and wise (to borrow phrasing from my class as well as my Grandmother).  I am not "happy."  Content, yes, but I am not overjoyed with the way my life is going nor do I get excited for anything.  I just am.  I would like to get excited about life.  About exercise.  About food.  About reading.  About teaching.  I do not want to be simply "content."  I want to enjoy my experience here.  I think re-reading Silver's book and really taking Thursday night's class in to full context is helping me see a way of getting beyond content.

Thus, tomorrow I begin the fourteen day ritual process or re-directing my path as I would prefer to think of it.  I know I am a witch.  I think I have always known.  I am not changing that.  I just found a fork in the road, and although it is dark and, quite honestly, frightening, I would rather go this way.  I need to tunnel in through the weeds, rip them out and make the garden of me a little more inviting for the people around me.  I think I forgot the most basic principle of gardening: weeds come back.  I let them take over me and drown me.  Tomorrow's ritual is thus quite fitting: Wind.  I will blow in winds of change and let the air clean out, not only my home, but me.  I will use the wind to keep me moving, to keep weeding, because when I forget to do so, I head back down into depression and cannot rise above "content."  The weeds suffocate me.

Part of this fourteen day journey is keeping a journal.  I have my personal pen and paper journal but I also want to share aspects of it on the blog as a means of re-directing myself back to writing.  Part of the past year's problem was that I never once wrote a single thing for myself and I really missed doing that. If I forget that part of me, then I become unfocused and frazzled.  That is how I let the weeds start rooting again.

This is a new path that I wish to take whilst I wander.  The Green Witch is back.  This is not a new me.  This is merely a re-discovered me or a forgotten me.  Help me clear the weeds.

I want to keep writing this blog.  It always works.  Always a blessing.

Thank you and blessed be.

Storm Moon Recap

Last night was our first coven meeting.  It was only four of us to start as some of the members are away for spring break, but it was wonderful.  Our ritual was very similar to what The Domestic Witch posted on her blog yesterday, so you can take a peek over at her blog for the ritual specifics.  It would be a bit redundant for me to post them a second time here.

We didn't get to see the moon herself last night, but the name of this March moon was quite appropriate as it is still storming here in New York.  There was a break in the storm, so we were able to go out into my friend's yard and spread our offerings to the Goddess and the creatures of spring.  In the distance I was able to catch the glipse of some spring rabbits running around.  It was quite fitting for the end of our first coven ritual. 

Something that all of us plan to grow and change along with our blessed seeds is in our health.  We all want to look better and feel better about ourselves which is why I cannot thank The Domestic Witch enough for her spring cleaning event.  It is really helping me keep focused on my overall goal for spiritual and physical cleansing.  We also all commented on how creating this coven is something we've all planned or hoped to do for a long time, but were not independent enough, from our parents and in our own selves, to actually do it.  I really think it will help bring our friendships closer together and really help us draw a great bit of power and energy into our projects. 

I hope everyone had an amazing full moon last night!  Blessed be.

The Storm Moon and more Spring Cleaning!

I know I've been a bit of a slacker when it has come to posting this week, but now that I'm on vacation from work for a week, I'll be able to post more often and everyday. 

In spring cleaning news, I've been doing ok with my diet.  I've had a little cheating this week, but I'll be back on track starting tomorrow.  Even though my food choices haven't been the most outstanding, I'm not overeating which is good.  I still need to be better about getting to the gym.  I did go twice last week and stayed for over an hour and a half.  This week off is much needed for my trips to the gym to increase.  I'm going tomorrow morning and I'll be there Tuesday night to start.  Then we'll go from there!

Tomorrow night is also March's full moon.  Originally I was planning on joining a coven in the area, but my personal schedule and the coven's meeting distance from my own home was a bit of an issue.  So, one of my friends who helped get me to this point in my path suggested starting our own coven.  Now, she does live in upstate New York, which is considerably further away than the originally coven I was going to join.  However, she is a good friend of mine and I'm always welcome to sleep over.  Plus, I love spending time with her, so the extra driving distance is really worth it for me.

For this full moon ritual, I plan on completing my wand project that I started at her house last month.  I have some beautiful beads that I purchased that are made from natural stones.  I'll be using Tiger's Eye (for personal empowerment and as a grounding stone), Hematite (for dissolving negativity) and Red Garnet (for self confidence and sexuality - hehehe).  The changes in season allow for a lot of creative energy and the full moon is a good opportunity to concentrate the wand.  I'll post some ritual ideas for everyone tomorrow along with my Monday Mutterings. 

Quickening Moon Meeting

The Gods always know.  I was driving to the Full Moon Circle meeting just a little while ago.  I reached into my purse to grab my wallet and make sure I had enough money for the altar supply donation.  My wallet was missing.  I looked at my phone and sure enough, there was a message from my friend whose house I was at last night telling me she had my wallet.  I guess the Gods knew today was not a good idea and knew how to keep me home.

I should learn to trust my nerves more often.

"Where will I find that wishing stone?"

I guess all of those late night talks with the Lord and Lady about having a white winter were a bit much.  The hubby and my Dad are out shoveling the white stuff.  I'm stuck inside with a sour stomach.

This weekend I'm (hopefully) meeting with a group to celebrate the new full moon.  I'm a bit nervous as I've never met anyone in this group in person.  I took some advice and used meetup.com.  They all seem nice from reading their e-mails and message board posts, but I'm unsure.  I've never spoken with anyone in person about my beliefs besides my two friends.  I'm nervous about them being all about showy rituals rather than actual worship.  You hear stories about covens which is why I've played the part of a solitary.  But I've grown tired of being alone.  Although my husband is supportive of my beliefs, he does not wish to join me in them.  I do have my two friends, but one of them lives rather far away and the other is dealing with her own personal problems, so it makes it hard to get together without her worrying about 70,000 other things.

How should I approach this?  I plan on mainly observing when I'm with the group on Sunday.  I just hope all goes well and I'm not weirded out by them.  I wish I could stop being so nervous.