Lazy Sundays and Book Updates

About a month ago I wrote about my used book store find, Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman.  Well, it took me a while, but I finally sat down to read it yesterday and I finished it this morning.  I couldn't put the book down.  And everyone that posted about the book was right: it is a great read but very different from the movie.  Both are equally wonderful as I have a soft spot in my heart for Stockard Channing and Sandra Bullock and witchy reads. 

Plus, as an added bonus, the majority of the book took place in my neck of the woods: Long Island.  I had no idea when I read it since the film takes place on Cape Cod.  I often will complain that Long Island is a horrid place to live, but when I read books that take place here, it softens my heart a bit.  It's not that I hate the place or the people (all the time), but  I guess living in suburbia makes me feel less like a child of Nature.  Whenever I make the trip to our friend's log cabin in the Adirondacks or to our friends in Vermont, something in me just comes alive.  It's always smothered when I come back to this little sandbar in the Atlantic.  But, alas, I must continue to live here; my job is here and I would be a very big fool to give up my teaching job after just receiving tenure.  I'll just continue to lay down my weekly dollar for the lottery, save, save, save for a home of our own, place my loose change into the log cabin fund, and dream of retiring on a lake in the woods.

Yesterday I spoke of dream pillows and not really making them specific for a type of dream.  Maybe I'll have to conjure up something that will manifest my future home in the woods.  I think that might help make me rest easier.  At least I can escape to my little log cabin while I sleep.

Saturday Musings

I've been neglectful.  I'm sorry blog and blog readers.  It's not even that I haven't had the time to write.  I've had plenty of time.  I've just been so tired all the time.  I know why I'm tired, but I'm still confused on how to fix it.  I know I'm not normally too personal on here, but I suppose since I'm sharing my faith in the Goddess and the God, I guess being personal should be more a part of my writing.

I wake up frequently through the night in a panic.  It's been happening for years now.  I was on anti-depressants for over 3 years and a little over a year ago I phased off of them.  I didn't like the weight it put on me nor did I like the shadow I became.  But, I'm still waking in panic.  I've tried to keep the journal by my bedside and write down the things which wake me, but I can't seem to remember/know what it is I'm waking up for.  It's always the same.  I shoot up from a deep sleep, look at the clock, realize it's 2:37AM and I don't have to be awake until 5:30AM.  This process will repeat every hour until I wake again at 5:27AM and curse silently that I could have slept 3 more minutes until the alarm went off.  Then, I don't want to get up.  I'm tired.  I love my job teaching, but I pray to the God/dess everyday that work should start at 9AM instead of 7:20AM.  I think their deaf on the issue as nothing has changed.

So, since I'm tired all the time, physically and emotionally, I've decided to actually do something about it.  I know I need to start going to the gym again and eating healthier (again).  When I became ill 3 weeks ago with the sinus infection, I just made excuses for myself to slack off.  But, I've done all this before and waking panic still plagued me.  So, I thought a little bit of magick, prayer and craft work may help me.  I thought that it was about time I made myself a dream pillow.  I don't necessarily need to have a specific type of dream, but just the ability to dream and rest.  I'll be heading upstate next weekend to go camping and I can hopefully gather some supplies from the store I usually buy my herbs from.  I'd get started this weekend, but there is too much bustling around for birthdays and graduations.  But, the most important part of this is that I have a plan to help myself and maybe just the planning will help put my mind at ease, even if it's just slightly.